Liberal Jokes (=

Question - What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
Answer - A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

Question - What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President?
Answer - A competent liberal President.

Question - Who was the first liberal Democrat?
Answer - Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not knowing where he was, left not knowing where he'd been and did it all on borrowed money.

Question - How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer - None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"

Question - How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer - One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.

Question - How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer - Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking.

Question - How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer - None: They can't remove the old ones since they are already part of the environment.

Question - How many social scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer - They do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.

Liberals are like seagulls : all they do is squawk, eat crap, and they are protected by the government.

Question - what's the difference between a liberal and crap?
Answer - the spelling.

Question - how many liberals does it take 2 screw in a ligh bulb?

Answer - none. They'd complain it would effect global warming, and fly home on their privet jets.

Question - What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
Answer - Change.

Question - How do you confuse a Liberal?
Answer - You don't. They're born that way.

Question - Why is it good to have a Liberal passenger?
Answer - You can park in the handicap zone.

Question - What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
Answer - Elvis has been sighted.

Question - How do you keep a Democrat busy?
Answer - Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Question - How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
Answer - Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.

Question - How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
Answer - Wave to him.

Question - What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
Answer - A whine cellar.

Question - What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Answer - Trying to hold on to a thought.

Question - Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
Answer - From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

Question - Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
Answer - So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Question - How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
Answer - Some people actually like sewer rats.

Question - Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
Answer - It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.

Question - What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
Answer - Data transfer.

Question - Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
Answer - Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Question - What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
Answer - The sack.